Saturday, April 26, 2003

Coming Down With Something

Stomach cramps, muscle pain, mild fever, headache, nasal and throat irritation, slight dull pain in the lymph nodes in the underarms. Classic flu-like symptoms, and right before classes. Please God do not gyp me. Do not let me gyp myself. Classes start Tuesday. Let me teach my kids. I need the money for rabies shots and living expenses. Or is this someone's sick way of getting payback? I narrowly avoided death by typhoid so I should die via some sort of avian flu? Or survive it to miss my opportunity to teach and therefore to earn?

What, this is the Dex Lira curse again?

The Dex Lira Curse

Someone, call him God, Fate or karma speaks--
"There is a balance in the universe, a giving and taking of energy. In this universe, one gives to get, whether it's time, attention, money or devotion, for a good, service companionship, or even for salvation. It doesn't matter how high on the Heirarchy of beings you are: you are forever subject to this law. Nothing is really free.

"But while you're on the ladder of the Heirarchy (whether in its social, economic, political or religious aspects) you can always go up or down one or several rungs. You just have to give of yourself enough to get a foothold on that one rung higher than yours.

"But lemme tell you something secret, Dexter, let me whisper it in your ear:

"I won't let you get that foothold.

"Struggle and failure are the essence of your human existence. Enjoy it.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"


All Dex's efforts are doomed to failure or at least a pyrrhic partial victory.
Dex never wins first place, it's second, third, fourth or fifth.
If Dex wins first place he'll never claim the prize.
Dex will never be listened to seriously, someone else will invariably take credit for his ideas.
Dex is the ideal patron saint of lost causes.
If Dex joins a group, he'll hobble it. If Dex leaves a group, they'll get increased incidents of success.
Dex will never make big money.
Dex will always be laughed at or shunned for being "naive" or "cynical" or following his "own path."
For every three things Dex wants to get done in a day, he'll accomplish only one.
In one of Dex's other lives, his name was Cassandra.
Dex will always be dependent on Mom and Pop.
No matter what the task, there's always someone better, and he's always around to do it and get paid for it when Dex ain't looking.
There's always something wrong with Dex.
Dex will never measure up.

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