Saturday, July 19, 2003

Honey, I'm Gay

Not really. I've long since figured out that much. But the idea bothers the girlfriend so that she's banned me from acting like one when I'm among friends. Well, I'm told twirling a limp wrist even in jest is bad for the image. It does very little to incite feelings of security (male friends), admiration (your woman), and well-being (parents). The people who matter are concerned, and they list why:

1. Many of my friends are gay ...or they soon will be.
2. My favorite singers include Queen, George Michael, Boy George, The Village People, Right Said Fred...
3. My favorite songs include well-known gay anthems.
4. I crack gay-themed jokes. I get off scaring my straight male friends with my gay act.

In fairness, there were days when I got worried myself. I remember telling Diwa I could not accompany her to the local Gay Pride festivities, because I had become "toxic" from all that gayness around me (the shock of friends coming out left and right, for example). There was a period when I was described by some as "gender-confused."

But this is what the People that Matter do not see:

1. Many of my friends are gay ...and they're dependable friends, strong friends, principled friends, damn good people. In high school, I was shunned by jocks because I was a geeky kid: can you guess who I hung out with? When my girlfriend first threatened to leave me, it was a close (gay) friend who convinced me to win her back.

2. My favorite singers, while incidentally gay, also have camp appeal. They're right up there with Tom Jones , William Shatner, Victor Wood, Englebert Humperdinck and Yoyoy Villame.

3. My favorite songs (gay anthems included) are spread across these decades-- 60's, 70's, 80's. They are usually exuberant, showing a love for living that I simply do not get from songs made in other time periods.

4. I admire gays. I admire them for the same exuberance in their anthems, for their can-do approach to living. You can grind their noses to the pavement, but they can give back better than they get. And they can do it with style. If the world goes through a cataclysmic nuclear winter the only things left alive will be:

a. mutants
b. hardened criminals
c. Christian fundamentalists waiting for the Rapture
d. cockroaches, and
e. gay people trying to kill the cockroaches.

Honey, I am not gay. But I am a gay enthusiast.

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