Saturday, April 30, 2005

There are days...

...when I wish I could write more, and as eloquently as I did during one of my ill-fated courtships. These days, I've too little time to write. All I can get away with are a few lines of incoherent meandering text, the scrawled letters leaning this way and that, like a drunken fool.

Back then I WAS a drunken fool, besotted with white shoulders, long chestnut hair, sienna eyes, thousand watt smile and alto speaking voice. I seriously DON'T want to be that way again, hanging onto another's every word and gesture like my life depended on it. But that's the way of all muses, so I'm told. Be they God, or Woman, Man or Art, one's muse is a jealous master. And I may have been bereft of one for far too long.

I long to be able to paint again, to feel linseed oil and charcoal and burnt sienna between my fingertips as I add one more correction to my depiction of an angel's face.

I long to... graduate, in almost every sense of the word. I want to transition from this perpetual fumbling and groping towards meaning, purpose and financial security. (Fumbling and groping are put to much better use in the bedchamber). I want my certainty but I sure as hell won't take it from someone who thinks he knows better, Hallelujah.

There are days when just how lost I am hits me like a stake to the heart. And there are days when I am simply too busy to care too much about it. This is, perhaps, the only real upside to working in an office.
(Paraphrased) Headlines and Commentary

Haydee Yorac Resigns
I'm not surprised. Often, the casualties of government service are well-meaning and competent people who rock the boat, or threaten to do so. The competent leave, the jack@$$es stay. The system perpetuates itself. There are times when I almost find myself tempted to buy into the Red assessment of my country's woes: "Our society is rotting from within and the cancer must be excised with a hot Revolutionary knife."

Punongbayan Dies in 'Copter Crash
Given that our bright minds are emigrating in droves, I have to ask: where are we going to get another batch of competent consientious scientists to replace him and the other five who died in the crash?

Most Students Drop Out Because of Poverty
So when did the genius writer find this out?

Saturday, April 02, 2005

The Pope is dead. No doubt you know this by now. Whatever you may think of him, he was a great and charismatic man, a globetrotting missionary for the causes of world peace, the fundamental right to life and dignity and the ecumenism that's kept me from breaking away completely from Catholicism, to maybe run into the arms of the nearest available Zen Buddhist.

This was the guy who apologized on behalf of Catholics for their centuries-old shabby treatment of Jews. This was a conservative prelate who, following in the footsteps of the previous pontiff, strengthened Church initiatives to reach out to our separated brethren (Protestants, Evangelicals, Anglicans etc.) and other people of goodwill.

I may not agree with him on certain issues, but I respect him all the more for sticking to his principles without having to play the Inquisition card.

Rest in peace, Karol Wojtyla.