Monday, January 07, 2008

Another Recurring Guy vs Girl Thing

While randomly surfing Multiply, I ran into this nugget. While it does take great pains to advance the 'male agenda' I don't agree with everything posted here. I do sympathize with the original writer's exasperation though. The red text commentary isn't mine, by the way, but from the guy from whom I lifted this invitation to be drawn and quartered.

"At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note that these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! <---------- TAMA TO TAMA TO!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a PROBLEM. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. FERDINAND MAGELLAN did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. <---- TAMA TO TAMA TO!

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. <------ WOOHOO!

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as CARS, SPORTS, COMPUTERS, GADGETS, or FORMULA 1 RACING. <------ cars cars cars cars!

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! <------- stick/twig is a shape

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; bt did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping."

I'd like to include commentary here but the post is already going to be long and tedious. And because I want you to read this and because I don't have contraband to seed in this non-bad day post, I'll shut up and keep it short.

In fine both genders contribute to the general frustration each feels in dealing with the other. One can choose to think of it as a cruel joke or accept the simple fact that we're different and work forward from there.

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