Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Maybe they shoulda voted for this guy


It's interesting to note that Kryptonian super-criminal General Zod threw his hat into the US presidential election ring sometime ago. According to his website, he even appeared in the most recent presidential debates. 

HIs campaign platform is interesting, though it has a lot to do with people kneeling to him in awed obeisance. 

Still, as excerpted from his website, his platform is as follows:

1. "I do not take orders. I give them." 

2. "Your freedom will be expanded." You will be even more free to give [me] your money and lives...

3.  "Eliminate the Iraq War." ...I suggest you put the money into your own schools and health care, so that I may have intelligent, healthy servants...

4. "Universal health care."  ...I demand your very lives, but I am not such an imbecile as to institutionalize suffering and poverty...

5. "Corporate reform." ...I will break this sickly codependency. It is I who shall be your ruler. I shall empower you with wealth to give me as tribute. A corporation cannot bow to me or give me tribute that comes from the heart.

6. "You will buy U.S. made items." ...[Why buy made in China?] You are sending my wealth and tribute to foreign lands. I will not tolerate this.

There are some legal snags to his campaign, among them the fact that he's from Krypton. But if the other Kryptonian illegal immigrant (Kal El) can stay by virtue of documents forged by his earthly foster parents, then having Zod around shouldn't be much of a problem. At least he's not lying about his ethnicity. It also helps that he can reduce the Immigration and Naturalization Service to a pile of smoldering slag. 

Well it's too bad Obama won. We should all be kneeling to Zod and basking in his munificence.

All hail General Zod!

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